Envy greeted me—
a profoundly unfamiliar feeling.

There she was.
The woman from the gym.
I’d recognize her hair, her skin, her body anywhere.
She simply radiated.

She inspired me
from the first moment I saw her at the gym,
using equipment I wasn’t even familiar with.
I noticed her.
We shared a quick glance.

But this time, she wasn’t at the gym.
She was at the coffee shop.

I listened to her conversation with the barista.
She was explaining that she’s vegan.
Of course she is.
How could you look like that and not be?
She simply radiated.

Her hair is her most striking feature.
Well, maybe not—her skin and body are right up there too.
But her hair…
It’s cut at an angle,
one side shorter than the other.
A style you don’t see often.
Wavy, shoulder-length.
And gray.
Beautifully gray.
She wears it proudly.

“And I’m old,”
she says to the barista who compliments her.
“Well, I’m sure you’re in better health than all of us younger folks.”
The barista is right.
I’m sure she is.
You can just tell.
She glows.

Another compliment comes:
“You look amazing,” a customer says.

She’s dressed in her gym clothes,
muscles and lean body on clear display.
She looks as healthy as a green juice made with kale, cucumber, mint, and green apple.

“I’ve gotten a nice tan this summer,”
she says.
I assume she’s just being polite.
The tan is only part of why she looks this way.
She knows that.

It’s her essence.
Her energy.
Her health.
Her vibe.
She’s a queen.
A true queen.

So here I am,
wracked with envy.
I want to be her.

Nah—
I don’t want to be her.
But the truth is…
she inspired me.

I need to eat a little cleaner,
be more deliberate,
tighten up my gym routine.

I’ve already done a tremendous amount for my health this year.
But I still have more to do.
And her pure essence reminded me of that.

I can’t wait to see her again at the gym.
To admire her.
To notice what emotion her presence will stir next.

Most likely it will be gratitude.
Because seeing her today—
and noticing my envy—
showed me that I still have work to do.
Work to align more with my values.

And I thank her for that.
Her mere presence makes me love myself a little more.
Because I see what self-love looks like.
And I want in on it.